"jinxed"

today i brewed a biere de garde recipie from jimshomebrew memeber mysterio the recipe was ;

Biere de Garde Type: All Grain
Date: 28/12/2006
Batch Size: 5.00 Imp gal
Brewer: Geoff Boil Size: 5.72 Imp gal Asst Brewer: Boil Time: 90 min
Brewhouse Efficiency: 70.0
Ingredients Amount Item Type % or IBU
6.10 kg Vienna Malt (6.9 EBC) Grain 92.4 %
0.30 kg Caramel/Crystal Malt - 60L (118.2 EBC) Grain 4.5 %
0.20 kg Aromatic Malt (51.2 EBC) Grain 3.0 %
30.00 gm Pearle [8.00%] (60 min) Hops 23.6 IBU 15.00 gm
Saaz [4.00%] (15 min) Hops 2.9 IBU 15.00 gm
Saaz [4.00%] (0 min) Hops -
1 Pkgs European Ale (White Labs #WLP011) Yeast-
Ale Beer Profile Est Original Gravity: 1.060 SG Est Final Gravity: 1.015 SG
Est Alcohol by Vol: 5.9 % Bitterness: 26.5 IBU Calories: 269 cal/pint Est Color: 20.0
EBC Color: Color

so away i went and without boring you with more pictures of the same process this is what happened to cause me to rename this beer "jinxed".
1) first thing i do is trip over in the kitchen , landing on the brew bin barking my toe.
2) i have decied to do a stepped mash so after the 30 mins at 50deg c i add boiling water to raise the temp . but due to the large amount of grain the bin is now full so i have to use the element.
3) despite vigouros stirring the grain burns onto the element and the mash gets too hot.
4) sparging is a nightmare as the grains completely fill the bucket and there is little room for the sparger arm which now sprays the kitchen as well as the grain.
5) once the boil starts i cant get the rolling boil i need as the element is playing up , even rewiring it to bypass the thermostat has no effect .
6) my thermometer goes mental and wont give me a sensible reading !
7) i needed 30gms of perle hops and ive ordered pearle barley ! have to use saaz hops to bitter as well which will alter the taste.
8) hop strainer comes off the tap so it takes an age to drain the wort.
9) final gravity of wart is a pathetic 1040 so i take a risk and boil up some of the wort with some spray malt to bring the gravity up to 1050 .

its now fermenting away but god alone knows what it will taste like . next time (i have enough grain to do two batches of this) i will use the right hops, forget the stepped mash and ensure that my element is spotless before i start the boil.

we shall see how it turns out , it will probably be the best beer ive ever made :-)